Tangled and Tied

Virtual Menu - Sex Toy Parties in Second Life or On-line

2009-08-27T13:23:00.011-04:00

This was a little something I put together on my land and shot in Second Life for my RL business with For Your Pleasure TM - I imported pictures I took with the camera to make the products I have available for sale and demonstrate at RL parties. The images I made transparent in GIMP for the textures. I learned a lot building the set and making the props to shoot this pic - but it was worth it!

These pages were made the same as above - some things you see in the background were not made by me. However that is my avatar. I arranged a simple set and shot the photographs and did post work in Publisher (because I do not have Photoshop or Paintshop) - it still turned out well I think.

I am working on more pages ... soon. If I can ever get my new Genie Bottle House up and working.

~Rebecca aka Sloitkut Maynard
For Your Pleasure, IBA

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A Public Service Announcement and Personal Rant about Sex and Parenting

2009-08-24T13:22:00.003-04:00

My kids are great, typical, and normal (for the most part) and I am lucky that we have a pretty good line of communication because they come to me a lot about their life things. Things like: friends, relationships, what the other kids’ parents do, media, social issues or current events, etc. We talk – we talk a lot and sometimes it gets crazy. We project views and opinions sometimes rants and tantrums but the point is they are quite the collective group of debaters, we talk all the time, and despite this sometimes things happen.

Case in point…

My son tells me the other day (this is back-to-school gossip mind you) that a little girl who had a crush on him a couple years ago was pregnant this school year.... ummm 7^th grade to be exact! That will be an interesting, “What I did on Summer Vacation” essay none the less.

Case in Point #2 …

My sister last week assisted in delivering a baby from a 14 year old mother. Sadly, this is not news but an all too common occurrence here in my little town and bigger city where she lives.

Ultimate Case #3…

We had a lil’ incidence here at the home that involved my own child during summer school…I’ll spare you the details.

My point? Talking is good but not enough … it’s a solid start and foundation. Also, do more things actively, and make plans and commitments with them in regards to their future and where dating and relationships fit in with all that.

Every one of us will have or know of an adolescent or teen that is sexually active or is/was a teen-parent. Now I know every kid or parent is different, situations are different, etc., but the fact remains these little girls lives have completely changed. I speak for myself when I say that parenthood is life changing. In fact, is an understatement!

I imagine anyone that things most definitely get more complicated and that your universe has just tilted in a severe way when your teem becomes a parent. *I know it would for me! So much so it has come to my most resent attention – the reality of this possibility. Just the thought of this makes me shutter.

My friend Ducky tells us,

“When are kids having sex? It depends upon the kids. Some kids start very early. Some wait until marriage. Lots of kids have explicit conversations about sex. Studies show that nearly half of all high school aged kids are engaging in sexual activity. Of those who are sexually active, 2/3 have had more than one partner. Good, honest, sweet, smart, wonderful kids will be genuinely interested in exploring sex. Be ready for it.”

So Mom and Dad…

This is your queue –

I want you to ask yourself, how much do you think your child knows about sex. And are you ready for it? I thought I was. Now run, go ask your kid and see if your right! No, seriously, don’t do that but consider how school and the kinds of peer pressure is so different from when we were kids. I can tell you so are the trends, myths and playground advice - times have changed and the same rules don’t apply. My children have shared lots of things they hear and its reassuring they come to me for validity in the matter but it is also shocking what kids think and so after 17 years with children nothing really surprises me anymore.

Where do media, technology, music and cultural influences factor in to what you and your child thinks about in regards to sex? Do you both get the same messages? **I actually have a couple funny instances about this.

How can you start a talk about topics of sex? Simple…

Start with the news… I know you read headlines like this, “Her teen committed suicide over ‘sexting’” . Talk about this or…

If your child has ever taken “Health” class, and you look at their materials, start there. In fact, I did this three times as all my children have taken the infamous health class, and I can honestly say it’s a joke! But it allowed me to tell my kids why I thought it was and it was a wonderful opportunity to open the floor to discussion.

The more you talk the easier it gets – it really does and the older they get the easier too.

Planned Parenthood has an excellent guide or outline based on ages Human Sexuality – “What Children Need to Know and When” …

Talking about sex is more than just the mechanics or insert tab A into slot B. It is very much about body image, confidence, and self-esteem for teens. It’s about strong biological urges and chemical messages our brain is flooded with – about hormones and developing bodies. It is about the purpose of life, the reason why we seek a mate or pair bond intimately and why we chose the partners we select. Young people have these developing bodies, these changes, and thoughts – and sadly, they do not know or given enough information to decipher what it all means. Remember that health class you took? Anatomy 101 was little more than this is called a penis and a vagina and eggs and sperm and why we should be abstinent – nothing more really.

For my daughter it was about a number of things, body image, acceptance, teen love and lust, hormones, curiosity – everything. We talked, we talked a lot – we went to counseling because our line got severed the situation nearly destroyed us, but we fixed and repaired it. It is a little damaged but its functioning. All this made me re-evaluate that big thing “sex” again. How she must feel and what it was like to be where she is nearly 17 and a world full of options and wanting to be loved not as a child but as a woman. She sees school mates with babies; she has seen them develop big bellies with babies inside that kick, and the girls celebrate it. Instead of birthday sleep-overs – it’s baby showers. This is what she sees and learns at school, what her friends talk about, and what some girls WANT to do! ßRant, rant, ranting goes here.

We talked a lot and continue to talk everyday, her and me, and today it is better and we have a plan for the future that she is excited about that and I am thankful for this and that she has options still. My friend Gidge plurked, “Happiness is…” and mine was the fourth response down. My first thought was that and the second was that my granny commitments were postponed another day and that I had to write this post because it weighs heavy on my heart. I know I am not alone and hopefully this will help anyone who reads it.

Teens have lots of thoughts and questions, and I made it a point to work with my own children a home more on the matters of love, love in relationships, and love for self and where sex is in all that. I am not saying I am an expert or that it will make a huge difference but I want them to know something that might make them stop and think a moment about choices and perspective when the situation calls for it.

Sexuality is in essence of life. It is more than life changing, when it is good its earth shaking when it is bad its damaging. It is our responsibility to teach them and share our experiences, values, and thoughts on the matter and try to illustrate what is a healthy sexual lifestyle looks like. This is very hard to do – and many adults, myself included, have failed at this once or twice or more. But they also learn from your mistakes, too. They will consciously and unconsciously absorb from you what or how a relationship is by observing our actions whether they are abusive, restrictive, sexless, loving, or supporting. More importantly here, give them resources to learn or research sexuality issues and find answers and satisfy that curiosity in a place that is supportive and understanding and encouraging – form you and the resources you provide in your home.

Violet Blue suggests these books for parents…

This is also a great resource too for you or your child… http://www.scarleteen.com/

Now all this learning about what goes on with your child or his/her peers can leave you with a sense of that you might need to re-evaluate your own sex wisdom.

Our sexual knowledge is as unique as a fingerprint and we are our own source of wisdom. Be honest with yourself and if you need to brush up there are a ton of links, just clicks away from you delivered to you in the comforts off your home – and while some are perfectly safe to view openly most of these sites will be NSFW, so there is your warning. But you know this and shouldn’t be reading about sex at work - right?

Start here… http://www.thesexcarnival.com/blogroll-links/

So the message of the day is this, educate yourself, educate your children, seek the truth and dispel the myths of sex together. Engage in your children’s lives and feed them with examples, values, knowledge, and ideas that will help them choose and exercise a healthy sexual view and lifestyle that suits them while they grow up, experiment and witness those around them. Help them make smart choices and exercise wise options today and for their future.

If you need more information or have any questions please email or comment me here anytime.

To life, love, and future – of our children!

~Rebecca

My First Video Ever! Meat Loaf with Red Hot Chili Peppers

2009-08-19T22:28:00.002-04:00

This is a lil mash-up of The Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give it Away Now song and Meatloaf's - Paradise by the Dashboard Lights

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Free*Style: I'm Bringing My Girls

2009-08-09T13:55:00.006-04:00

My extremely talented and fun-lovin' friend Gidge blogged a freebie outfit I put together, which turned out fabtabulous I must say, on Free*Style!!

Read it all and see the pics here...
Free*Style: I'm Bringing My Girls

The House of QXI

2009-03-20T09:18:00.001-04:00

The House of QXI

Hello Dear Readers...

The House of QXI is an erotic gallery I help manage and promote with artist QXI Gears in SecondLife. Some amazing things going on and all the gallery events and happenings are posted there too - so go on and have a look.

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The Learning Experience: TLE Creative Showcases

2009-03-20T09:17:00.000-04:00

The Learning Experience: TLE Creative Showcases

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The Fountian of Inspiration

2009-02-16T15:20:00.003-05:00

Hello … it’s a beautiful Monday afternoon … sitting in the sun next to my fountain with a cute little ducky by my side (Thank you Q!). Long story about this duck – I’ll spare you the details. But anyway I want to share with you some recent developments that I am proud of and that starting here with the fountain.

I claimed this little 2048 sq. m. plot of land back in December, the 29^th, 2008 to be exact when my friend Q’s neighbor put her land up for sale. The piece I have is directly next door and near another friends property is, Gidge and the Bot Man. Anywho… I have been slowly building and adding things and recently I was paid a compliment from my other two neighbors on my place – so for a novice builder I am I was proud and flattered…and it all started with this fountain.

Well…its mid-February and well the place has changed a lot. You can fish here, relax, explore the cave and find hidden treasures and much more is to come! The fountain boarders my SL partner QXI Gears’s land, she is an incredible 3d artist. She is also my longtime SL friend (luv u Q!) – anyway, her gallery The House of QXI is next door to mine and you can get a landmark from my land to teleport there or click here … http://slurl.com/secondlife/Estruda/208/208/38

I will warn you her work is not for the faint at heart – she makes explicit scenes that make your mind go WOW. I am a huge fan of hers – but I do know too other artists admire her talent when we visit galleries and attend openings. She was featured in Eye Candy Magazine recently (you can get your free copy at the gallery) and she has a new gallery with four floors that are quickly filling up. Together her and I are working on a project that I am excited and nervous about. Soon real soon! With out her advice and being there to answer silly questions I wouldn’t be as far as I am with my own place. (Thanks Q!)

All this came from my “little fountain” which flowed tons of inspiration for the Land of Sloitkut to be home to Hidden Treasures ~ For Your Pleasures, a place for my friends and family to call home and hang-out to and do things that you can only do in SL.

One thing that is best suited with SL is creating and “experience” – when you learn in SL it’s different than traditional learning. It’s hard to explain – it’s just best done, to just hop on the train and take the ride and make your own judgments about virtual worlds like SecondLife. To me its pretty close to magical, I can do things in SL I can’t in real life – and there is the mystery and awe to me. Ask me a year from now and I don’t know if it will be the same but I am sure enjoying it for now.

I think Social Media is like that… I am not saying its all bad or anything no doubt it has purpose and value. But my accounts with MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Plurk, are out of control. Now I will admit if you add me as a friend I am pretty boring and not participatory with the quizzes, and the jokes, and stuff but lots of people like to do that, and my kids love it. For me there is a lot of silly stuff those things now that have that never did much for me personally, I just wanted to send messages a cute pic or share something and be on my way. And that’s ok, I still have those accounts and I log into them and answer email messages and personal notes but I have like 500 objects people sent me and well … I refuse to be swallowed by “the amalgam of cybernetically enhanced humanoid drones of multiple species , organized as an inter-connected collective with a hive mind , inhabiting a vast region of space with many planets and ships.” [WHO] They operate towards one single-minded purpose: to add the biological and technological distinctiveness of other species to their own, in pursuit of perfection . This is achieved through forced assimilation , a process which transforms individuals and technology into Borg, enhancing individuals by adding synthetic components.” (wikipedia Borg)

That said I like SL, I like how there is a lot of creativity and collaboration and experience. And I like that a lot. That’s why I wanted to learn to build and make things in SL and share them with you in my world, my little niche, my cave, my little plot of green by the wayside – did I mention you can fish here? And I love to travel in SL and see other people’s builds and sims – some are absolutely amazing. I could go on like some brain-washed cult member but I won’t.

So this is the first stop on my land and well if you want to know what the Duck is – well, you just have to get here and find out for yourself. If you need help I am here!

If you are in- world come by and see me at …

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Estruda/153/173/56

…or drop me a notecard at Sloitkut Maynard I’ll send you a limo.

Kisses and Hugs ~Me

Special messages To …

FYP…Yes I have been MIA from the FYP chats and message boards and meetings…I plan on coming back soon I promise! It’s all Heather Calma’s fault really. I can tell you goal setting and being accountable and doing what you say is hard but I find it is totally rewarding. I haven’t met my long term goal as of yet but I am getting there … I have this huge learning curve and the crazy ideas keep me up at night, up at my computer scheming and working it all out.

Ducky…I saw you post on the Sex 2.0 group and I hope you do get to speak. And I do hope they hold the conference in-world like they did with BlogHer 2008, that way I can “be there” in SL which is second best to being there in person. Good Luck!

Sarah!...WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!

Andi...I love you - kiss them babies and hug em hard.

Susie...U suck! or maybe you don't Suck enough?

Mama Delores and Girls - See you soon! What shall I bring? Booze or beer? I can do a Monday!!

Everyone ...I leave you with a little video

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2009-02-01T14:07:00.002-05:00

Ok so it been like August and October since I have posted…I know no excuses but who reads me anyway, right? *Hears crickets in the background** Anyway, I have been busy setting up shop in SL, writing and working on other creative projects. Over the holidays we did the family thing, shared colds, played games and ate tons of food. Today we are hanging around in pj’s, have the Super Bowl snack fare ready and just doing whatever. Gidge says, “It’s the last day of Christmas! Hooray for FEASTS and FOOTBALL” and I have to agree – the fun, food and festivities kinda come to a finish today. If I see another cheese ball or chip I’ll puke. But Valentines is right around the corner, my favorite candy season for… Chocolate, dark only please and hold the nuts.
So I am alive and kicking and enjoying this thing called life - hope you all are too!!

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Friday’s Pleasure Post - How To Hook Up Online «

2008-10-12T14:01:00.000-04:00

Friday’s Pleasure Post - How To Hook Up Online «

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Interview with Damon Brown, author of "Porn & Pong" | Salon Life

2008-10-12T13:01:00.000-04:00

Interview with Damon Brown, author of "Porn & Pong" | Salon Life

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Frolicon 2009 Home

2008-10-06T14:06:00.000-04:00

Frolicon 2009 Home

Not too late to register for this - sounds like fun!

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Arse Elektronika 2008

2008-10-06T14:00:00.000-04:00

Arse Elektronika 2008

Critical Perspectives on Sexuality and Pornography in Science and Social Fiction

It just makes this girls heart go pitter-patter.

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Rubber Roses or Fukmi Flowers - Pt III

2008-09-20T12:50:00.002-04:00

Ok - so that's it - say it with flowers. Here two lovelies one purple with a one-touch bullet center coupled with textured for her petals and the other fruit flavored petal condoms with a pink cock ring center for him.

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Rubber Roses or Fukmi Flowers - Pt. II

2008-09-20T12:28:00.004-04:00

Continue sculpting and taping your petals to the center - I used three condoms per flower

The a more colorful variation - with cock ring center.

Condom center with two petals - ready for wrapping

Wrap floral tape around the tape you used to anchor your petals - wrap in some greenery at the base of flower and a bit further down the stem - like a real rose or flower. Continue wrapping until your cover the entire wire.

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Rubber Roses or Fukmi Flowers

2008-09-20T12:27:00.001-04:00

Flowers made with floral wire, floral tape and condoms

Tape and Silk Greens

I used 18 gauge, 18" long wire, bend in half. Hold and smoosh condom up so you can sculpt the petal. Be gentle not to damage packaging of condom - tape wire loop on to the condom for the center.

Or use something else for your center - here I used a cock ring.

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Dicky Pops or Cock Suckers - you decide.

2008-09-20T12:06:00.001-04:00

Call 'em what you like... -these "pops" make perfect treats or favors for those Adult Trick-or-Treaters, Bachelorette Gigs, or your own Private Flesh Fest. The Sweet Treats are fast & easy (cheap too!!) to make and give to your Sexy Friends.

All you need are...
~ lollipop sticks - found in the candy making section
~Sachet bags or plastic candy wrappers
~Condoms (flavored, textured, anything that makes your heart pitter-patter)

...I taped the stick to the backside of the condom

~Pillow pack samples (lubes, edible massage products, ...anything sweet & tasty)
~Dicky or Boob Erasers (anything could work here as long as its small)

...little items to stuff in the bags

...just put it all in the bag and tie. See, that was easy.

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Love is in the air...

2008-09-20T11:07:00.001-04:00

...yes it's Love Bug Season. And they are everywhere.

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Catching up on business

2008-08-20T21:45:00.001-04:00

Ok so I have not been the good girl and keeping up with my blog or many other things lately – too much playing on my part. So I have lots to cover. The last month or so I have been totally inspired by the events that have been happening in my life.
Firstly, I need to address some important stuff I have been asked to post. So what follows is where you need to look – you know who you are, but feel free to check it all out. It’s a free for all…
For My Med Student Peeps - Anatomy Pictures of Pleasure Anatomy – email me @ beqie101(at)yahoo(dot)com. I have to give Ducky Doolittle credit for the pics, as an IBA with For Your Pleasure, Ducky made these available to us to use along with the workshop she did at the Museum of Sex in NYC. The anatomy files she shared at the event I have permission to use but not exploit – so e-mail me and there yours. Curious about the talk and other reviews – please she her YouTube profile “Duck – O – Vision here.
Missionary Mama – I met a beautiful, sexy friend at a party recently who asked me about the missionary position and that this is the only way she was able to achieve orgasm with her partner. Well, at the moment I had a few positions in mind – and shared one or two with her. However, I have more advice and inspiration to share with her and others who may find this useful.
For simplicity sake we will illustrate the missionary position as man on top – woman on bottom. The man supports his upper body with his arms. Penetration and effort is made by the man – allowing the woman to receive. This can be demanding for the “top” partner and limiting if you are on the “bottom”. Frontal contact is predominating with this position. In my opinion the key advantage and turn-on factor with the missionary is simply: the face-to-face and genital-to-genital contact. Simply because you can see each others expressions of cues and signals that things are going well or not, you can watch everything and you can kiss, stroke the face or scratch your nails down the back – if your into that. Lot’s of options if you’re the bottom person. I think it’s a great starter position for sex – the closeness and conveniences of being able to kiss and touch the genitals before penetration is a huge advantage and an excellent position for steamy, fast foreplay.
How to change it up or spice up the missionary? Maintain the front-to-front contact. And shift everything else. Think angle, height and surfaces. Think senses – facials, sounds, and think smells. Touch – the hair, breathe your partner in drink up the chemistry between you – pheromones, adrenaline, hormones are the biological signals or responses of pure lustfulness. Breath and sound – the hot breath on the skin or sound of a moan very near to the ear can be very erotic. Our facial expressions are complex – how we look is worth a thousand words. Faces in pure pleasure say or signal to us a whole wash of emotion; if we are seeing someone about to orgasm that makes our very own naughty bits tingle. These are the details that can make any sex act or position – a remarkable one.
Laying flat on a bed – try it with pillows or a ramp tucked up under your bottom. This lifts the pelvis up and shifts the angle of penetration. Switch top and bottom – trade, take turns… share the ride. Adjust your legs – wrap them around your partner or simply close them or spread them wide – each varies the thrust or penetration depth. Straddle your partner. Sit or stand up – a chair, the side of the bed, or against a wall – different surfaces accommodate and act as a support – so the strain isn’t always on the arms or legs all the time; sex outside the bed is sexy. “Change of attitude and latitude” really is all it takes to turn the missionary position into an incredible and satisfying experience.
What do you do to change up your missionary style? I want to know!
Take care guys and gals...
~Rebecca

www.foryourpleasure.net/Rebecca

2008-08-20T21:20:00.006-04:00

Big Teaze Toys and Lelo Sex Toy Reviews

Sex Toy Reviews - For Your Pleasure has their new catalog out. Wow!! This thing is loaded with goodies. I ordered two I’ll share….

The first toy, Ducky Doolittle – also reviewed. The Tuyo Vibromasseur by Big Teaze Toys - a sphere in shape about 3” in diameter. Made free of Latex, PVC and Phthalates – requires 3 AA batteries. You can see it here . The features: 8 modes of vibration, chrome trim, silicone non-slip grip, splash-proof, and comes in a satin lined case. Ducky mentions, "it's easy to hold and press against the clitoral area. Great if you are having penetration with a partner from behind and the female lays on top of it." She also adds, "Perfect for women who like to get on top of their toys (Humpers!)""

Ok – here is my two cents. I totally love the look and feel of this toy – so simple. Love it because I am always in search of alternatives to insert-able toys. The Tuyo, was refreshing to see in this summer's toy line. Toys that go “back to the basics” – basic shapes, concepts, materials, style and function. Other pluses – the one touch button, a “greener toy” and how one could incorporate it into sex play. I got it and well – it is loud. So much so I was prompted to see if anyone else had found this to be the case – and sadly theirs too was loud but I am not giving up. I am going to contact the manufacturer. The first level of vibration is not so bad but as the buzz intensifies it gets much louder. I am afraid, personally, that I can’t get past its horrible chainsaw sound - although this is a common problem with many vibrating toys. I mean I’m heartbroken – I love the look and promise this toy has and it is a better built toy. Simply and honestly, it is just too noisy for me. So Mr. Tony Levine, President of Big Teaze Toys, if you are listening – this is my two cents. But please keep trying I think you have something wonderful with your line and style of toys – the Duckies are the best!!

Toy #2 – Lily Pleasure Object by Lelo in Plum. This toy favors a tiny mouse or bean shape in appearance; it is very small about 3” long – half as wide and not very thick at all. You may see it here. Features include: Phthalate – Free ABS satin finish, rechargeable Li-Ion battery w/ up to 7 hours user time, intuitive interface dial, and five stimulation modes. Lily also comes with a One year warranty, user manual, satin pouch, charger and a handy box for gift giving.

Ok- my two cents. Lily is amazingly quiet, simple and sensual with discreetness and portability in mind. I find it pleasant to hold and touch – sits nicely in the hand. This is a classy “designer” style toy found in high end boutiques and shops – simply stated and beautifully styled it is my new favorite “bullet” type toy. I love this toy for so many reasons but mainly it feels good to the touch, it is functional and will stay in place with you and your partner – if you use it between you during sex play. Alone it is a very strong when maxed out – and its vibration patterns are amazing – one of the stimulation modes syncs well to music rhythms; you can rock and roll or club with this one. I love, love this toy [claps hands] – they got this one spot-on for fun, function and design - everything.

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Post thoughts here...I remarked on the Tuyo's loudness despite this, I am still quite fond of this toy and still show it because its seems to have mellowed and darn it i just like it. Just don't use it when their is company around, lol.

A Greener Sex Life

2008-08-20T12:39:00.002-04:00

A Greener Sex Life
with For Your Pleasure!

Life is about balance, right? We need to have fun but we also need to reduce our carbon footprint. That’s what I believe. Like all eco-friendly products, the better made, higher quality toys tend to be a bit more expensive. But you get what you pay for because they also tend to be the healthiest for you too!

Look for toys that are made of glass, metal, silicone, or hard plastics, as there are fewer chemicals in the manufacturing process. They also have a longer life span, which means you will purchase fewer toys in your lifespan.

Glass is considered the most eco-friendly sex toy product of all. You could even recycle your glass toy with your other glass recyclables. But they are so durable and beautiful I have never heard of anyone ever wanting to get rid of a lovely glass toy!

I have tons of gorgeous glass toys available.

Firm silicone toys are the second runner up. The more firm the silicone; the longer it will last. The Love Pacifier is a prime example of a fine silicone toy. (Buy butt toys in darker colors and the always look clean, if you know what I mean?)

The G spotter we call Rock Chic is another firm silicone hit. It vibrates, but the little vibe can be popped out for easy cleaning and I sell replacement vibes of this style, so you do not need to replace the whole toy. When the time comes we can just get you a new little motor.

If you love things that vibrate, try investing in rechargeable batteries. Or think about upgrading to a rechargeable toy! They have cord like a cell phone or a stand like an electric toothbrush. When you are ready, pop that sucker off the charger and have fun!

I have a number of rechargeable vibes. Ask to see the full collection. But one that comes to mind is the Phantasy. Inductively rechargeable without a cable, loading station with power supply plug. It’s waterproof too!

MORE TIPS

Shower together and save water. Get clean and have foreplay at the same time!

Turn the lights out and use our Caress Me Candles to light the way. Sure it has natural ingredients, a cotton wick but it also doubles as massage oil! The wax melts at a low temperature, pools into warm massage oil and makes for a luscious evening.

Read sex how-to and erotic books. You’ll find amazing inspiration and then pass it on to a friend. You’ve just recycled.

A Satin Blindfold can add some sparks to your play. Use it again and again. Hand wash in warm water.

Don’t flush condoms. Instead wrap them in tissue and throw them in the trash. It is estimated that hundreds of millions of condoms enter our water systems every year do to those who flush them down the toilet. They clog pipes, treatment plants, and enter waterways like rivers.

Keeping your thermostat low in the cold weather will inspire snuggling.

Patch up your blow up doll with bicycle repair kit patch. (I joke! But really, you could.)

Resources:
How to Green Your Sex Life www.treehugger.com
Condom Sense: Condoms and the Environment www.ezinearticles.com
Is Your Sex Life Eco-Friendly? Don’t Let Your Love Life Stain the Planet www.nowtoronto.com
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Need more inspiration? Contact me beqie101(at)yahoo(dot)com

Good, honest, sweet, smart, wonderful kids will be genuinely interested in exploring sex. Be ready for it.

2008-08-20T12:36:00.001-04:00

How to Talk with
Your Kids About Sex
Whether you like it or not, you are a sexual role model for the young people in your life. Their eager minds seek to understand the world around them. When the issues are not articulated for them, they learn through the subtleties, like body language and watching the interactions of those around them. And even worse, they learn from the Internet, television and through conversations with their friends. If you don’t step and let them know they are safe to ask you anything – you are leaving them in the hands of strangers and a life of learning by way of their own mistakes.

Opened the door and let them know you will not be angry or embarrass them for asking questions. At what age you open this door really depends upon your child. Some kids are very inquisitive at an early age while others just need to know they can ask if the need arises. Remind them every once in a while that they can ask you anything. Sometimes they may be on the edge of a precarious situation or thinking about something they heard and your gentle nudge may remind them that they are not alone.

When are kids having sex? It depends upon the kids. Some kids start very early. Some wait until marriage. Lots of kids have explicit conversations about sex. Studies show that nearly half of all high school aged kids are engaging in sexual activity. Of those who are sexually active, 2/3 have had more than one partner. Good, honest, sweet, smart, wonderful kids will be genuinely interested in exploring sex. Be ready for it.

Another reason you should want to be their main resource is that the world has ways of compartmentalize sex. We do this through subtle attitudes (“boys will be boys”, “women should be sexy and look hot - but not be too sexual”) and by way of the media (sex sells). And those are just a couple of examples. These ideas do not always coincide with what young people are taught at home and/or their place of worship. It can become very difficult for a young person to understand how sex can affect self-esteem, relationships, and health. If they are taught that only dirty or nasty people have sex, then how do they justify that the same acts can bond a relationship or be the source of a new life? These are complex issues that cannot be over looked.

Part of the problem is that many young people believe the solid definition of sex is intercourse. People (young and old) do not recognize that sex is a way of life, not a particular act. Sex can be the energy exchanged while looking at each other, eating a meal together (with out the TV on) or lying on the lawn and looking at the stars with your lover. But sex also incorporates many acts, like heavy petting, oral sex, intercourse and anal sex. Many young people will have oral sex with multiple partners but still identify as a virgin. (And not understanding that oral sex can leave them vulnerable to STDs.) It’s important for you to help them develop a clear understanding of what sex is and what kinds of behaviors may require safer sex materials and birth control.

Some people are dismayed that schools are or are not teaching sexual health. You may be upset over the content of what the schools may be teaching. Personally I feel like it would be great if the school could find a curriculum that suited everyone, but realistically I don’t think that is possible. Every family has their own culture, religion, ethics and moral standards. Ultimately it’s always up to you to teach the children in your family.

I highly recommend having an age appropriate sexuality book on your books shelves at home or simply give the books to your kids. I recommend Deal with It! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain, and Life as a gURL and S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College. (You can find them on amazon.com.)

They are both cute, hip, age appropriate books that don't over look how sexuality is inclusive of emotions, relationships, bliss, excitement, fears, anxiety, spirituality, anatomy and lots of other nitty gritty facts and details young people need to know but would never think to ask. Good stuff. Get a set for your home library today!

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Questions? Contact me at www.foryourpleasure.net/Rebecca

Six Tips For Great Sex | Psychology Today Blogs

2008-07-23T18:12:00.000-04:00

Six Tips For Great Sex | Psychology Today Blogs

Okay, so I run into a TON of sex tips but these were a little different than most as they hit the nail on the basics of what I have learned or been taught about sex. That and they apply to both guys and gals. Well, so what did Psychology Today leave out?

Breath ... both Ducky and Sheri mention in their classes that breathing is important. Oxygen rich blood engorges our sweet bits which makes them more receptive by making them plump or erect. The more receptive your pleasure zones the more responsive you become because you feel more. They both agree, breathing is really sexy. Something as simple as breathing you say? Like your dead or something? No, apparently we tend to tense and hold our breaths somewhat when experiencing the throes of passion - so really deep and whole breaths are key. Panting and hyperventilating - not good. Big breathy moans and groans - very good.

Another tip not mentioned. Know how to toot your own horn. Huh? What has horn tootin' do with sex? Well, think of yourself as an instrument - how well do you play solo? In other words, how well do you "play" by yourself? If you haven't mastered your own instrument you are going to sound crappy when you play as a duet with your partner - I learned that in band. So practice learning what you can do with your own instrument and then focus on how you can play with your partner so you can make beautiful music together.

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Sex and Video Games

2008-07-23T14:09:00.001-04:00

Ok, so I've been playing around on Second Life
and like it has been all I can think about lately because the more you learn how to do things in it you become like this mad scientist wanting to experiment and explore the possibilities. So with that spirit I did a little research via Google and well let me tell ya - there are a number of things to do in SL - sex being one.

I will confess I am not a virgin in SL anymore, now before you call me a SL whore - I just had to see for myself what it was all about - and I haven't even scratched the surface on the topic (we will leave that for another blog entry). Sex and video games is not a new thing - I remember years ago a computer game Leisure Suit Larry - the colonic scene is forever burnt into my brain like the screen saver would do to a monitor back in the day. So nothing is too new with sex and video games but what is that I have found new are technologies not so far away that help "how we do it" in video games or platforms such as SL.

Let me go back to my sex encounter in SL - I went to a "destination" and basically within a few nano-seconds of my teleport and a couple of lines of small talk with another resident we were shagging on some sex furniture I'd never seen or imagined in real life. My SL partner (who was a stranger) was very accommodating in showing me around and explaining what things do. Very educational, very amusing, and totally hilarious - I couldn't believe my eyes and I was laughing uncontrollably during the whole time. In real life this would have killed the mood - no doubt.

Now to some there are a number of issues having "virtual sex" or sex on-line in this manner and while I won't go into all the details or bring up the moral implications of such behavior from what I have read. I took my experience for what it was - my avatar getting her groove on - nothing more. I was curious, I wanted to see what it was all about - I mean I am in the sex business it's what I do. Well, it turns out there is this pose ball or object that has script attached to it that animates your avatar. The coolest thing about it is that you have these options of positions and what not to select - sex has never been so simple and direct, just pick and choose.
So like I am thinking... cool, I want a pose ball in my real life.

I imagine the scene....

Husband says, "what's in the box?"
Me "it's a pose ball"
Husband "a what ball?"
Me "a pose ball, I bought it last week. It was a steal at $1,000,000,000,000 Linden Dollars, you'll see"
Husband "oooh great more SL stuff, honey you are addicted. I think you like SL better than you like me and the kids. babe, we miss you"
Me "ha ha , funny dear. it's cool, you use it to have sex. think of it as R&D"
Husband "huh, wha...?"
Me [taking the ball out and thinking where to place it] "this will be fun - trust me. Ok, all you have to do is pick what you want, requesting sex acts has never been so easy!! This is the latest thing in sex toys - cool huh?"
Husband [looking confused] "yeah - um...sure. whatever you say dear"
Me [showing the menu of options] "see you just pick what you want and just like magic we will have sex in positions we have never heard of or can physically do til now - this is great huh?"
Husband [looking uneasy] "I think I'll let you try it out first"

...back to reality

I am just amazed at technology and sex especially when I becomes intertwined or collides. Sex robots are not too far away in the future and toys that users can control via their computer are becoming better - very interesting stuff if you ask me. Makes the real deal in real life all more special, very intimate and I can appreciate it more with this view.

One thing about virtual life is it doesn't have the same implications like real life can - I can't get my avatar pregnant or contract a disease - or can I? There is some food for thought, hmmm. I think first and foremost it is easier to have virtual sex in the virtual world. With real world sex people have a hard time talking to their partners about sex.

Real and virtual sex is exciting and I find is always a learning experience - I mean the possibilities are limitless of what you can create or do. The pose ball has inspired me in my real life - mainly, I think in part of it's direct approach, there are no limits (if you can write a script for it anything is possible) and it is so darn user friendly - the way a sexual encounter should be when you love the one your with.

Here are some interesting things that fit with this post...

SXSW: Sex, lives and video games

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SL Sisters

2008-07-21T08:03:00.000-04:00

This is a pic of my sister and I taken on Second Life. I am the good looking one on the right, only because another SL resident named Gidge from Don't Ask! gave me a makeover (Thanks Gidge). I met Gidge at the BlogHer 2008 Conference on SL. The event was awesome, the ladies I met simply - AMAZING. Gidge and many others were so helpful with us newbies; made the experience both rich and entertaining -not so akward as we stumbled around. Learning to dance, opening gifts and being amongst some very tech savvy and talented women was a powerful feeling and I have found many mentors to learn from. SL is very addicting - so much so I asked my sister to join as we used to meet at CyberTown many years ago. She did - so if you see the dynamic duo (us) around falling on stuff or stumbling around in our travels and exploring - say hey, and pardon us as we practice and get better in our new world.
~Rebecca

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tiny nibbles - bachelorette party guide

2008-07-15T22:47:00.000-04:00

Violet Blue's very own advice from her blog tiny nibbles on Bachelorette Party Planning. She is a mentor to me. What can I say? She is so smart about technology, sex and she's entertaining and just so much more - I saw her on a Google Talk, she is an awesome presenter. Can you tell I like her a little? Anyway go over to her page and subscribe to her feeds - her voice on Open Source Sex is some sexy entertainment.

tiny nibbles - bachelorette party guide

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www.foryourpleasure.net/Rebecca
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